‘It’s quite simple actually isn’t it?’
This is a statement I hear frequently when a client has spent a few weeks grappling with the idea of being still, trying not to think and wondering what they are actually trying to achieve. Then they get the break through, the ‘eureka’ moment: it’s actually all very simple.
It is simple, and in some ways the simpler the better, but it isn’t always easy.
I’ve been meditating for thirty years now and I still have days when I struggle to tame my ‘monkey mind’; I find it tends to drift between behaving like an excited child: ‘remember me! don’t forget you promised… when are we going to..?’ etc. and a slightly confused older person who has to be reminded of what they were doing and gently brought back to the present moment.
Sometimes this isn’t just a day but several days, or longer. I have learned that this is fine, it is normal, we do the practice anyway and we experience whatever we experience. There can be lessons in why we have certain experiences: have we taken on too much? Are we getting enough sleep? Are we trying to squeeze our meditation time in between other activities rather than give it the space and priority it needs?
However, there are times when sitting undisturbed for a length of time just isn’t possible, and as we get closer to the summer holidays when life gets busier and children and grandchildren want our attention more I thought I would share some tips that have helped me to keep my mindfulness going.
Tip #1
If possible try and set some time aside for yourself – even fifteen minutes a day has been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system and keep the heart healthy. A healthy, happy you is much more productive and more fun to be around so your family will appreciate that it is time well spent!
Tip #2
Be kind to yourself. I often hear people say, ‘I’ve been really bad this week,’ or ‘I’ve been hopeless.’ How bad have you been? Have you really been totally hopeless? It usually means that they are feeling guilty for not practicing regularly. If you forget one day, that’s ok. It takes time, sometimes months or longer, to break the old habits of putting everyone and everything else first and create a new habit where time for yourself has some importance. The fact that you realise you have forgotten is progress – it means that the intention is there.
Tip #3
Try shorter, more frequent exercises which are achievable. Try taking three mindful breaths before you get out of bed. Shower mindfully being aware of the warm water, the smell of soap. Eat mindfully, appreciating the smell, the appearance and the taste of your food. Walk mindfully, being aware of how it feels to walk, what you can sense with your body. Try short breathing exercises whenever you remember throughout the day. Use affirmations and repeat them as you go about your normal activities.
Tip #4
Keep it simple. Just sit. Breathe. Notice what your body is experiencing right now. Bring your mind back into your body, re-unite them. Remind yourself where you are, which is often not where the mind is. Let go of expectation and just be.
Tip #5
When you are able, do a simple Body Scan, a Gratitude Meditation or a Loving Kindness Meditation. These can all be as long or as short as you want. Once you release the fear of failure, the idea of striving for a goal, you will enjoy your meditation practice so that it becomes a treat rather than a chore.
To paraphrase Jon Kabat Zinn: whether we want to do it or not, whether we can see the point in it or not, we just do it and know that our lives depend on it in so many ways. And sometimes, you can allow yourself to smile, just a little.
Photo by João Jesus on Photo by João Jesus on Pexels.com
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