Mindfulness: More Than Just Sitting Still

If you google what’s currently trending on mindfulness, you’ll see that people are searching for advice on how to do it and how it works, what the scientific evidence is, and how to use mindfulness to reduce stress, manage emotions and improve focus and concentration.

But what actually is mindfulness?

I could reel off a whole load of academic definitions here, most of which I have already written about or quoted in classes and workshops, but these still don’t answer the question in a way that most people need to hear. What people want to know is, what Mindfulness looks like beyond the buzzword.

So, I’ve decided to focus on what Mindfulness really means in everyday life, and what actually counts as Mindfulness.

1) Mindfulness Isn’t Just Meditation — Here’s Why

There are lots of different types of meditation: mantra meditations, visualisations, guided imagery, breathwork, affirmations, Chakra meditation, Transcendental Meditation…(you get the gist). We use some of these techniques to help us develop mindfulness, but all of these techniques can be done mindfully or not, depending on our attitude. And lost of other activities can be mindful that don’t involve any meditation at all.

2) Mindfulness Isn’t About Getting It Perfect

Mindfulness without perfection can look very ordinary. It might be noticing that your mind has wandered and gently bringing it back, taking one slow breath in the middle of a stressful day, or realising that you feel overwhelmed and responding with kindness rather than criticism for yourself or others. It can be pausing before reacting, paying attention to the taste of your tea, softening your shoulders when you notice tension, or simply beginning again after forgetting to be mindful for most of the day.

3) Mindfulness isn’t about fixing something

Over the thirty years since I first started teaching meditation, we have seen enormous leaps in scientific research demonstrating the huge benefits of mindfulness to our physical and mental health. Over the same period people have increasingly felt that they are substandard, not good enough.

So, we end up with something like this:

Premise: There is something wrong with me that needs fixing (everything I read, see and hear seems to tell me this)

Solution: Do this amazing thing in the right way and I’ll be fixed

Problem: It’s not fixing me how I wanted it to and not as quickly as I expected

Mindfulness has become another facet of our consumer led society which keeps us feeling dissatisfied and encourages us to keep consuming the next thing. Because that’s how consumer societies survive.

So, if we see Mindfulness as a remedy, something to be consumed and that will ‘fix’ us, then we will always be disappointed because at what point do we consider ourselves fixed? Is it when we never feel sad? Or angry? Is it when we are super organised and never leave something off the shopping list? Or when we are the right weight? Or look ten years younger than we are? Or feel blissful all the time, never getting stressed or anxious, never worrying about the future or whether we upset someone last Thursday? When we always, always make the right decisions and choose the healthy options every time? If that is our goal, then we really will be disappointed.

4) It’s Simpler Than You Think

Mindfulness doesn’t always require lots of effort, although it seems like this when we are first learning. This is because it is a new skill and a new habit, and our brains resist new habits since these take up a lot of brain power; so our brains are always trying to return to the old habit which has lots of pre-wired neurones all ready to fire up without the hassle of re-wiring anything.

The trick is to practise something every day so that your brain gradually gets used to the habit. This is true of any habit, so if we are aiming to become more mindful, we need to remind ourselves of this daily until we have re-wired the relevant pathways in the brain. The practising may be hard to begin with, but the practice itself doesn’t need to be.

I’ve seen lots of beginners trying so hard to breathe ‘properly’ that their shoulders are up round their ears, or so hard to ‘stop thinking’ that their jaws are clenched. This is because our society has drilled into us that we must try hard to succeed, and success is everything! The problem with that is that trying hard to relax, or not to think about something, has the opposite effect. It's when we stop trying so hard that it starts to work.

5) What Actually Counts as Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is made up of different elements working together. These include intention, attention, and attitude. A seminal paper by Shapiro et. al., called ‘Mechanisms of Mindfulness’, published in 2005 was the first study to clearly identify these elements and to show that a mindful state of mind (where we are generally more able to think clearly, be less emotionally reactive, to enjoy more aspects of daily life, have better relationships, worry less and feel healthier) develops through practising these skills.

As well as the IAA model, Shapiro also introduced the concept of ‘re-perceiving’, a skill which allows us to step back and observe our thoughts and emotions with some distance so that we feel less stress and more emotional balance and well-being.

Mindfulness meditations, ones which have been developed to enhance these skills, form the basis of our ‘formal practice’ and this is why people often mistake meditation, or simple relaxation, for mindfulness.

Redefining Mindfulness: What Truly Matters

Mindfulness matters not because it makes us flawless, calm all the time, or somehow “better” than we are, but because it helps us meet our lives with greater awareness, honesty and compassion. What truly matters is not whether we are doing it perfectly, but whether we are learning to pause, notice and respond with a little more presence. In that sense, mindfulness is less about performance and more about how we relate to ourselves, other people and the moments that make up our daily lives.

And It’s not All About Sitting Still

Mindfulness does not only happen when we are sitting still with our eyes closed. And sitting still with our eyes closed does not guarantee mindfulness. It can also be found in movement, in walking, stretching, washing up, or simply standing and noticing the feel of the ground beneath our feet. Mindful movement and mindful standing remind us that mindfulness is not confined to one posture; it is about the quality of our attention in whatever we are doing.

As you know, I am a huge fan of Qigong, I practise daily and teach several classes a week. This week I have found a very interesting article about new research into the benefits of leg strength for brain health Building This Strength Could Be Key to Brain Health and a new technique using Qigong for long-term pain relief which I will be able to teach shortly. And these studies both agree with the science that when we bring our intention, attention and attitude (IAA) to our exercise, it has even more benefits.

So, if you want to be more mindful just try noticing what's happening in the present moment as many times as you can throughout the day. Don't worry about the times you forget to do this, just celebrate the times you remember. And appreciate all the little things - the Japanese have a philosophy about this called 'Ikigai' which correlates nicely with one of the main teachings within ACT about meaning and purpose, which you can read about here: The Philosophy of Ikigai: 3 Examples About Finding Purpose

If you would like to try some more formal mindfulness meditations you can listen to the recordings of our free monthly drop-in sessions here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvE0dQVK-RncDQ5xEUDAy_1-95A07njRf

But most importantly, always remember that you are doing the best you can.

With all best wishes,

Natalie x